I can no longer speak with any heart, for she that held it captive in euphoric rapture has left me, and with her, still in pain, has gone my heart. A lamentable catastrophe it is, but one to which I now should be accustomed. But, alas! the dagger lessens not its sting as wounds are healed and time goes by, but more renews its vigour in delivering the fatal blow.

However, there we have it, and so we must go on. Of course, the reason for her departure is that Susie, the regular lexicographer, has returned from delivering her baby to continue with her duties in Countdown's Dictionary Corner. She does have a curious beauty of her own, but unfortunately it is pale in comparison to my darling Alison.

Good things, though, have arisen out of this unfortunate event. The first is that I now feel less animosity to she whom I unkindly called 'old Vorders' earlier on, meaning to speak of Carol. And also a little unrelated news, although no less triumphant, is that for my most recent Open University assignment I achieved a very palatable score of 78%. And doing a simple bit of arithmetic, I know I'm averaging just a single point below that. So, all in all, the departure of my darling oughtn't put too dark a blight on my condition. Much to celebrate, in other words.